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前言
我记得好久之前就想要写一些东西了——感想、迷茫、近况……但一种甩不掉的拖延症一直缠绕着我。当师弟就“雁栖湖生存指南”向我取经时,我才恍然清醒,原来在雁栖湖校区的研一时光早已结束,一年时间过得是真快啊。
平时我总会想到一些内容,想着“后续把这个写在博客里里吧!”,但毕竟都拖了这么久了 😂,脑瓜子早就清了好几次了,这次还是随想随写吧。
在雁栖湖的日子
“清汤寡水”。说实在的,我感觉研一这一年又是平平淡淡地过来了。就像本科时一样,上课、做作业、学课题相关的知识、闲下来时玩游戏。不出门、不社交,麻木日子和麻木的心情让时间过得格外快。
课堂上的老师都是各个领域的大牛,课堂上的同学都是全国各地的翘楚,与他们接触时,内心中“保持自谦”的那口警钟频频被敲响,不过倒不至于走到了“自卑”的境地,也没有焦虑地盲目效仿追赶,与人交往越深,越是要理智得看到他人的优点,自谦的警钟应时刻系紧。所谓见贤思齐、见不贤而内自省,当是如此。(每次发现生活的感悟与曾经学过的名言警句相交织时,总有种想笑的冲动,欣慰欣慰 🥳。)
去湖里之前,我好像还定了些flag来着:
- 【运动!】:大失败 ❌!完全没动!
- 【出去逛!】:大失败❌!鼠鼠我是那么宅 😭,当然也有疫情和交通的问题(这逼地方离市区是真远啊)。
- 【多社交!】:大失败❌!笑死,根本不会主动社交,单人间里一个人躺床上不爽吗?( 🤣👉 🤡)
- 【多看书!】:小成功 ✅!买了kindle好歹还是没吃灰,看了一些书。
以上flag继续立着吧。
捧起了相机,拍!
受好兄弟小任(@Theodore_Ren)的影响,我在大四时买了人生第一台相机,富士XT1。当时我内心有着“用摄影带我走出门外”的期盼(以及数码收集癖),但行动上并没有响应,当时带着相机出门都考虑这考虑那的:我不会拍、我拍不好、举着相机好羞耻、社恐啊、带相机出门好重啊、不想出门啊……所以我辜负了XT1。后来我又置换了一台佳能卡片机G5X2,期望着便携的随拍随取的设备能实现野望,但期望还是落空了。
时间来到到研一的第二学期,我又置换了一台尼康ZFC,这时我已经在雁栖湖校区待了半年了,可能是这时候迸发了打破麻木的动力,我终于带着ZFC走出了宿舍门。漫无目的地走呀走,脱离手机的枷锁,捧着相机的时间真的很放空,很惬意。我没有羞于“拍不好咋办”的内心自斗,也没有主动用摄影圈的条条框框来学习式地去拍摄,只是想记录。
直到现在,我已经拍了不少照片,每次在回看这些照片时,总会想起我按下快门时的场景,仿佛就发生在刚才。
(等图加载好看看呗👇)
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离开雁栖湖的前夜
在离湖的前夜,西区操场办了一场草地音乐节,在舞台的侧方,有一条时间长廊,长廊上挂满了同学们投递的照片,照片上记录着在雁栖湖这一年的人和事。我在长廊里穿梭,用相机二次记录着这些照片,每一张照片都那么生动,让人去猜想光影中记录的故事。
(等图加载好看看呗👇)
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后语
不能单一断言在雁栖湖这一年是快乐或是痛苦的。在一个高的视野里,我会苦恼这一年的得与失,会苦恼我那圈地自封的生活;但坠入回忆中,我会想起躺在床上听窗外的乌鸦和蛤蟆吵架,我会想起远处青山上那绵延的长城,我会想起脚边讨食的猫学长,会想起好多好多……在离开的那一天,我清理干净了陪了我一年的小窝,它复原了,就好像我刚来时,就好像我没来过,我关上了门,又伸手敲了敲门,然后拉着行李箱离开。
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- 作者:RyuuYou
- 链接:https://ryuuyou.cn/article/SummaryAfterG1
- 声明:本文采用 CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 许可协议,转载请注明出处。